My Thoughts on Xbox Live! Achievements
Now that I can claim a year of Xbox
360 experience under my belt, I'd like to share my opinions
on Microsoft's popular attempt at packing even more value
into each Xbox 360 game: Achievements.
To be honest I'm not such a big fan. Oh, I'll admit
to a flash of glee when toast pops up telling me that
my latest gunshot was the one-thousandth fired from a
crouching position on Tuesday and that I'm now a time-honored
member of the "Crouching Tuesday's" club, but
as a member of the "intact cerebellum" club
I quickly harumph that I've been played for a trained
seal. Achievements are tangential to game play, loaded
with spoilers, and are a slavishly recursive system of
need-fulfillment.
I'm reminded of my City of Heroes days
when, in response to cries of inadequate in-game content,
the developers increased the number of Badges gamers
could earn. Badges are virtual trophies awarded for contrived
reasons that often have no purpose whatsoever other than
bragging rights. One example is the Celebrant Badge: "Sign
on to the game with a hero in the month of May 2005." Yee-ha.
There are even badges awarded for collecting other
badges.
What's surprising is the number of gamers who actually
think that being led around by the nose is something
to brag about.
Achievements Are Tangential to Game Play
Let's take a look at BioShock's Tonic
Collector Achievement
for an example. I even have a page dedicated to this
achievement on my BioShock
Walkthrough. The purpose of
Tonics in BioShock is to enhance your character in a
way that suits your preferred playing style. Tonics are
a twist on the age-old allocation of attribute points
in role-playing games. I choose to install the Hacking
tonics, for instance, because I'd rather hack a turret
than blow it to bits. That's my style, they're my Tonics,
and their unique powers are the reason I seek them out.
But with Achievements there's a whole new game to play
here: Tonic Collector. The original purpose, the real purpose, the fully-fleshed-out, original, pillar-of-the-game
reason-for-being of Tonics has now been transformed into
a trivial scavenger hunt. But is it really trivial if
it earns you an Xbox Live Achievement?
Here's a hint: yes, it's still trivial.
If you enjoy the treasure hunt in-and-of-itself then,
great -- you could have set your own personal goal of
finding all of the Tonics and savored the sweet taste
of success all by your subjective self. No need to sew
a merit badge onto your sleeve. Unless you really need
the public affirmation, and that's just lame.
Achievements Are Loaded With Spoilers
Warning: BioShock Spoilers Ahead
To continue picking on BioShock (unfair,
I know, but it's my most recently-finished game and is
what prompted me to choose this topic), I made the mistake
of reading through the Achievements list before completing
the game. Here's a few that tipped me off on plot items
that I'd have preferred to remain ignorant of:
Irony
The player has taken a picture of Sander Cohen's corpse
Hmm, I guess Sander Cohen doesn't make it.
Defeated Atlas
The player has defeated Atlas
Atlas turns out to be a bad guy? Guess I shouldn't be
trusting him.
Broke Fontaine's Mind Control
The player has broken Fontaine's mind control
I thought Fontaine was supposed to be dead?
You get the idea. I've learned my lesson and actively
avoid catching a glimpse of the Achievement list of any
game that I am playing (or intend to). Like avoiding
message forums of a game that I am currently playing
(thanks to those jerks who insist on placing spoilers
in message titles), I now have another source of spoilers
to worry about, this time direct from the dev team itself.
Achievements Are A Slavishly-Recursive
System Of Need-Fulfillment
If you've ever tried to find
a cap without advertising on it (a logo, team emblem,
manufacturer's brand - whatever you call it it's still
advertising) you know how difficult it can be. Oh,
they're out there; of late there are the occasional caps
you can buy that don't require publicly affiliating yourself
with any particular brand. It's a good thing, too,
because if I want to stay warm on my walk to work in
Washington, DC I don't want any bullet-hole ventilation
courtesy of those driven to violence in their personal
quest to affiliate with The North Face brand.
Such is the affliction of the overly-marketed.
You want The North Face jacket because you're supposed
to want The North Face jacket. And guess what: you want
the Tonic Collector Achievement because you're supposed
to want the Tonic Collector Achievement.
Or, you don't think about Achievements
at all and instead just play the damn game.
